The fights start because of bickering and lack of general manners, that is all. People who take public transportation are subjected to exactly that, the public. I would have apologized to her had I known what I did to upset her, as it was not my intention. But instead, like you say- kids will fight. I ignored her and her childish undertoned bickering, fighting the urge to “call her out.” It’s not how it should be and you should understand like the rest of mass transit participants, we are in an ever crowding world. Public is just that, public. Don’t expect silence in a public forum you do not conmtrol. That is just how it is, constitution and all. If you want a certain atmosphere, walk….drive…take a bike….DON’T take the bus….

Now most transit vehicles are one person operated and
may still not have built in vehicle-supervisor com equipment, but the operator could use a cell phone to call for assistance. Why then the recent rush to forbid
cell phone availability on the demeaning assumption that a person trained for and trusted with the responsibility for passenger safety can’t be relied on to NOT use that phone in improper/distracting ways ?

Sure, many people will ignore instructions to improve their behavior when asked to do so. But that’s because of this ridiculous attitude of “nobody tells me what to do” of many Americans. But in the end it’s still worth it for drivers (and passengers!) to kindly ask someone to change their behavior, because I think many WILL change their the NEXT time they ride. It’s just that pride will prevent them from acknowledging it the day their berated. The NEXT time, they won’t want to face the berating of others. Just be patient (and strong)!

I actually teach a course in passenger realtions at The Bus And Motorcoach Academy.

After years of having to “referee the playground”, you really have to learn to choose your battles. Even the transit operator (in this case, the poor schmuck behind the controls) has good days and bad days. Add to that, most training courses don’t adequately cover passenger relations (does yours? go check!). The bus driver or rail operator can instantly become the bad guy without knowing what he or she is getting themselves into.

It all comes down to TACT. There is no one (good) way to respond to another passengers request to police the playpen. The “Don’t Make Me Come Back There” approach (I’ve pateneted that, btw) doesn’t always work (damn!). The other thing that often happens, is you may have a bus full of “armchair quarterbacks” that will second guess the driver, and either critcize the drivers actions back at the driver, or write a “nastygram” to the transit agency, or even worse, the news media (we’ve all seen that).

What it comes down to also, is how do you define rude behavior? When is a social faux paux become a major offense? Not every “criminal act” justifies tossing someone off the transit system. One person has their iPod a bit too loud, another has The Chicago Tribune open wide and spread out over their seatmate. A waitress who has been on her feet all night has relived herself of her shoes, while a young mother is trying to comfort one cranky child while the other is on a sugar rush…

As the captain of the ship, you have to take it all with a grain of salt. Keep your sense of humor and realize that you have your bad days, and things could be worse. I always tried to approach offensive passengers with a smile and a voice of reason — not authotity. No, not all outcomes will be the same, and not everybody will be happy with being confronted — nor will witnesses be totally happy with your decision. I’ve been caled on the carpet often after “other anonymous passengers” called or wrote the transit authority with their opinion on my being too wimpy or heavy handed (and yes, I have physically thrown passengers off a vehicle!). It’s a fine line we walk. Choose your battles. Some wars are best left unfought. It’s a short life, if we all just got along…